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Allegiant (Spoilers and All)

WARNING: This post contains spoilers (hence the title) and probably some typos. I just finished writing this post, but I can't edit it. Sorry. If you read all the way through, you'll figure out why. I'm terribly sorry if my sentences don't make sense and the whole thing is crazy.
{via google}

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I've been busy reading Also Known As by Robin Benway, and then Insurgent and Allegiant. Oh, and making a few-day trip to Baltimore.
But really I just need to rant about Allegiant. That. Stupid. Book.
This post is probably going to be short, because even thinking about the ending kills me inside. I get this sinking feeling in just about every part of my body, pulling me down to a dark place I don't want to visit again. Because Tris is dead. Uriah is dead. Basically, everyone is dead.
I don't remember when I realized what having Tris and Tobias splitting the POVs meant. I think it was somewhere near the middle of the book.
One of them is going to die. That's what I thought, and then I banished it from my head, because I couldn't bear it.
When Tris died, I started crying. Then I flipped through the rest of the pages to see if it was real. Maybe it was some trick. But when none of the other chapters were from her point of view, I started crying harder. It took me awhile to start reading again. But when I did, I cried a lot more.
See, Veronica Roth is a brilliantly cruel author (no offense...I'm just saying my opinion. I don't feel any real malice toward her. Awe, maybe, because she had the bravery to kill of one of her main characters, who I'm guessing she loved. A lot). If the book hadn't been in first person, it wouldn't have been quite as bad, but it was. She let us get inside of Tobias's head. Then she broke him. In the process, she broke us.
I kind of get why Tris died. Somewhere in the book, I remember someone talking about an honorable death. Dying for a bigger cause, the bigger picture. Making a sacrifice for those you love, because that's the only way a sacrifice can be done.
At the same time, though, I don't get it. Veronica didn't have to put David in that room. He didn't have to still have his gun with him. Or maybe Tris could've still had her gun with her. Either way, anyone with an ounce of sense would've seen that she still made the sacrifice. She had no idea if she'd be able to survive the death serum or not. She still saved Caleb. She still tried.
And if Veronica could've just been a little nicer, then maybe Tris would still be alive, Tobias wouldn't be broken, so I wouldn't be broken. Yes, I watched this. I get that her death did her story justice. I understand that they couldn't have a happily ever after, but Veronica could've put that in the epilogue instead. She could've said Tobias and Tris were together, married, whatever. She could've said that they were struggling, because life is full of that, but they were doing okay and the threat of death was gone.
But at the same time, I get it. I'm not okay with it. Yet. And that's why I can't think about that book. That trilogy. All of it. I. Just. Can't. I will not read the rest of the Divergent books that Veronica has written, at least not in the near future. If there are any comments on this post, I probably won't respond, because I can't. Maybe by spring I'll be okay with it, and I'll be able to watch the movie.
Right now, though, I'm stuck in this horrible sadness. I know it will fade, just like it did with Tobias's pain, just like it did when I cried over Beth in Little Women and Dobby in Harry Potter. (Yes, that's right. Before Allegiant, I only cried over two literary characters.)
All right. I have to go. The tears are threatening.

Bekah Joan


  1. Allow me to say that; I could not agree more with you. Every word you wrote defines my feelings towards this trilogy. I-I... I'm still in denial. I keep thinking that those last few chapters never existed... and you know, I'm okay with that. I have a very very emotional attachment to fictional characters. I feel how they feel. And when an author goes and kills the main character in her book, I cannot explain how many feelings were crushed when I finished the book. I felt Tobias-- I FEEL Tobias' pain. And I will never be the same again... Yes, I sobbed. I was a mess. For days. I'm still a mess... but it gets better. I promise it does. All I do is try to forget the ending and focus on the other two books. What if you try writing your own ending for the book? It might help. <3

    I will never forgive Veronica Roth. She is an amazingly evil writer.


  2. This book killed me. It was the end of me. I miss Tris so much

    1. Agree. <3 But I took Mackenzie's advice, and I wrote a better ending. I'm going to try to post it online, but I have to see if I can, because I used a LOT of what she wrote, and I'm not sure if it's legal or not... :p

    2. I bet you can totally write a better ending!

  3. NOOO!!! So the rumors are true!!! I don't even know if I can read Allegiant now... when I first heard Tris was "dead" (in quotes because those types of rumors always circulate whether they're true or not), I was like "Yeah. Tobias is free." Which is usually how I attach to characters -kind of strange, I know, but whatever- but now it's starting to actually get to me. I know if I read it I will probably most definitely cry (which honestly, is not unusual in these circumstances. I think authors intentionally manipulate people like that O.o). Anyway... good luck with your literary recovery. Wish me luck with mine when I do get around to reading it!

    1. Oh, yes, I would definitely still recommend reading it. The transformation Tris goes through is beautiful. I did actually rewrite the ending, though, so I'm now pretending that she's still alive. :p When you do finish it, if you need it, just let me know and I'll email it to you.


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