22.9.13

an excerpt [1]

via
(Because Rose did one here, and I thought it was a wonderful idea.)
Basically, the main characters (Alexa and Drew) just found a portal into another world, Abif. Of course, they go through it. Tell me what you guys think (if you want to)! I feel like it moves a tad too fast, and then too slow (*sigh*). What do you think? Have fun reading! :)


     I’m thrown down, and I hit the ground hard. Feeling Drew get up next to me, I open my eyes with caution. It hurts, but not nearly as bad as the fall did.
     “Where are we?” I ask as I take in the vast field we’re in. It’s not December anymore. I look up and, for a moment, forget about being transported to a big field that I’ve never seen before. The colorful, dancing leaves of the faraway trees catch my attention. Their branches reach toward the drifting clouds and the soaring birds. A light breeze blows my hair over my face. I tuck it behind my ear after Drew helps me up.
     The air is still cold, but it's warmer than home. Maybe we somehow made it south of where we live. You know, where it’s still October instead of December. Yeah, that really makes sense. The ground is soft and muddy. It must’ve rained recently.
     Drew runs a hand through his red hair. “Isaac told me we’d find another world called Abif. I thought he was joking. But now…I’m beginning to doubt that.”
     “Another world?” I explode.
     “Yeah.”
     “What else did he say?” It’s easy to hide the bitterness in my voice. I’m too shocked. Apparently, we’re in a different world, a different dimension, a different universe. I have better things to do than worry about Isaac playing favorites.
     “Something about a war and staying out of the open. We need to hide.”
     “Why should we even listen to him?” All right, so maybe my jealousy of Drew is coming through a bit. I’m a tad annoyed at Isaac for not telling me what he did to Drew. Maybe I don’t want to listen to either of them. Besides, I like this field. It’s pretty.
     There’s a whizzing sound coming from above. When I turn my head up, I see a dark, thin stick flying toward me. An arrow. I step out of its way before it hits me.
     “That’s why. Let’s get out of here.” Drew grabs my arm and starts running, pulling me with him. He’s aiming for the woods. Unfortunately, the trees are pretty far away. Two more arrows land in front of us. At the same time, two land behind us. I don’t know if we can make it. But Drew pulls faster, and I follow. The trees are our only cover.
     The arrows stop. I don’t understand why. Risking a glance behind me, I see two people running after us. There’s a blond-haired girl and a tall, young man. They don’t have any more arrows in their quivers.
     Drew pulls me harder. I can hear the dead grass crack and break as our feet smash into and destroy it. We’re almost to the woods now—maybe ten yards away. I take another small peek over my shoulder. The man is still running after us. The girl is picking up arrows and aiming.
     But it doesn’t matter. Just a few more steps and we’ll be under the protection of the trees. Just as I hear the sickeningly familiar whiz of an arrow speeding toward us, Drew pulls me behind a tree. The arrow lodges itself in the wood.
     The trees are thinly spread. Grass still covers the floor, along with some colorful leaves and some stray branches. I can see a glowing ball in the sky that’s casting a reddish light on everything. It’s nice to know this world has a sun, too. Just as we start to head through the trees, a branch groans from up above. Before I even have time to look up, two people have jumped down and tackled us. At the same time, the man and the girl step into the shelter of the trees.
     Her bow is loaded. Just that is enough to make us cooperate. When my captor, a big and burly man, picks me up, he accidentally twists my arm. With my other elbow, I jab him in the ribs. Instantly, there’s an arrow a foot from my face.
     “Don't you dare try anything, missy,” she snaps, a menacing glare tainting her pale skin and pretty features. She speaks to me with such force that the ground underneath us should be crumbling. She has a few freckles and sad brown eyes. But those eyes are also glaring at me.
     Her jeans are muddy and torn at the knees. Her brown and short coat is torn too. Some mud is splattered on it in uneven patterns. If I’m right in what I see, she has some dried blood on her right sleeve.
     “Who are you?” the man, dressed in darker jeans that are just as muddy and a tan shirt, demands. He has a funny accent—the same one Isaac and Freya have. I wouldn’t say he’s more than twenty-five.
     I don’t know what to say. Will they kill us if we tell them the truth? I haven’t had time to think about why they’re after us. What do they want?
     “Who are you?” Drew returns. The guy holding him is even bigger than mine. He has a frightening eye patch over his left eye.
     The blond girl shifts her aim from me to him, her frizzy French braid swaying across her shoulders. “Kenneth asks the questions, not you.” She has the accent, too.
     “Kenneth,” Drew muses, thinking over the name. What’s he doing? He’s going to get us killed! “What’s yours?” he asks the girl.
     She glares at him, but she lowers her bow. I don’t get it. Why is she doing this?
     And then, with a mischievous grin from Drew, it all clicks. If they wanted us dead, we’d be dead. I can tell from the confident way that this girl holds her bow that she’s used it a lot. She’s got to have almost perfect aim. She was only shooting arrows at us earlier to scare us. Drew realized that he can say whatever he wants and she won’t hurt him.
     “Clara,” she relents. “What are yours?”
     “Drew.” He nods to me. “She’s Alexa. If you don’t mind my asking, what did we do to get shot at?”
     Clara’s eyes flash distrust, and Kenneth steps in. “No more questions until we figure out more about you two.” He looks at all of our captors. “We’ll take them to the safe house.”
     I gulp. They may call it a safe house, but for Drew and me, I highly doubt it’s anywhere near that.

Bekah Joan
p.s. i do apologize for any typos or grammatical errors. i tried to sift through it and fix them all, but i'm sure i have failed somewhere. i do hope you enjoyed reading!

4 comments:

  1. I DEFINITELY enjoyed reading it! Man, all I wanna do is start writing my own Narnia book after this. Some kind of fantasy of my own, haha! But I can't leave Monica just like that, so... lol

    I can't wait to read more! :)

    p.s. That picture gave me a perfect vision of what the field looked like. Nice work! ;)

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    1. Thanks so much, Liz! I'm glad you like it! :)

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  2. Oh my gosh, I loved it!! It was really good, really. :) I'm so glad I found your blog, it's amazing!
    I agree with Liz, the picture helped me also in imagining the field. :)

    Looking forward to reading more, Bekah. :)

    -MJ

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so, so much, Mary! And I'm glad you guys like the picture. :)

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