8.2.14

an excerpt [5]

Dawnyelle {via}
From the NaNo + DOOM novel, which I finally decided upon a title for: The Four Seasons of Dawnyelle. I'm working on changing it from third person past to first person present because first person present is my favorite (although I think it's the hardest to write. But more on that later). Below is the new opening. Enjoy, lovelies.
W I N T E R
Dawnyelle
Have you ever felt like nothing is worth it?
   You’re trying so hard to live, but the more you try, the more death yanks at your head, your neck, your arms, your legs, your toes, until all you want to do is succumb?
   Winter does this to me. Its cold and windy fingers wrap around my heart and lungs, squeezing until I collapse onto the hardwood floor, begging for mercy.
   It just so happens to be January second, so here I am on my bedroom floor, curled up under a nest of blankets with my Chemistry textbook.
   My mother is downstairs doing some craft with my two younger brothers, Joey and Coilin. Their laughter fills the rooms as much as the dusty air does. My cat, Meows, is asleep next to me.
   But I am so alone.
. . . .
That's all I have for the moment. Now I'm stuck. Yaaaaay!
[1] [2] [3] [4]

Bekah Joan

10 comments:

  1. Sounds great, Bekah. That would be hard, having to go back through and change the tense of everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's very hard. But I think it will definitely be worth it.

      Delete
  2. Oh, so many times I've felt it's not worth it. Though, it's funny you posted this now, cos I posted a post a few days ago called 'worth it'...anyway, I love your blog. Keep being awesome at blogging.
    Tane ♥

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I write I am horrible with the past tense present tense thing... I think I do better with present tense...

    You are such a gifted writer,you truly are amazing,keep up the fantastic work

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've found that when I write in third person, I automatically do past tense, and when I write in first person, I automatically do present tense. This is out of habit. Don't worry about being terrible at it. If you work at it and edit and catch it and keep working, you'll find yourself improving.
      Thank you so much. <3

      Delete
    2. I'm horrible at editing I get so impatient LOL my Sister Mackenzie is so much better at that stuff. Thanks for the advice and you are very welcome

      Delete
    3. Yeah, sometimes editing is my favorite part and sometimes I hate it. >.<
      <3

      Delete
  4. It was really good! I love your title... It just sounds so lovely. And I'm sure you'll get unstuck. Going outside, or even just looking out the window helps me a lot, usually. Right now is the perfect time to get inspired for winter scenes... It does make me feel like nothing is worth it, sometimes. But the beauty of it also surprises me into thinking just the opposite.

    Keep up the great work! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! And yes, I think I might spend some time outside today.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...